Rantings, Goss’ps, Complaints, Compliments….

This is the place to be if you have a weird obsession just like mine – Bert from Sesame Street, likes everything Japanese & TVB movie serials, love to travel, eat and not forgetting – bitch!

What did Ah Beng say to Ah Lian? August 6, 2008

Filed under: Pointless Rants — siaoyue @ 3:24 pm

About two years ago, I dyed my hair.  It was a disaster.  Somehow, the colour came out really blondish.  Hence, came the nickname Ah Lian from DC the Yellow Chimp.  But he ain’t much better, everyday ‘talk loud loud’, recently drives a really ‘vroom vroom’ modified car, wears brown leather shoes…so of course Ah Beng this nick won’t suit anyone better!


So what did Ah Beng say to Ah Lian lately when he got his yearly bonus and increment?


‘Eh Ah Lian, got my bonus.  Come let’s go for dinner.  I spend.  You like ah Japanese right.  So let’s goto Aoyama la.’  So off went Ah Beng and Ah Lian to Aoyama Japanese Restaurant.  Ah Beng of course only restricted Ah Lian to a bowl of Edamame and Chawan Mushi and 2 glasses of green tea! Muaahahhahaah


So what did Ah Lian tell Ah Beng during dinner.  “whoaaa………34 more days till Krabi!’ (which I later realized was a miscalculation). To which Ah Beng replied, I dont care what activities you guys want to do.  I am going to drink my beer on the island hopping trips.  As long as he doesn’t sink while snorkeling, that’s fine with me!


And after dinner, Ah Beng graciously offered, ‘Eh need to WALK YOU TO YOUR CAR AH?’ (He must have felt bad after hearing horror stories of my ridiculously awful date and tried to be a gentleman).  Errr, I would have been so touched except for the fact, my car was only a few steps away from his!


P/S:  Ah Beng realized that Ah Lian is applying for her PR in Australia and wants to buy a marriage certificate from Ah Lian….for RM3000! Wah….so the ‘cheap’!  Sure cannot laa…..later the migration officers ask some intimate questions! Sure-ly fail!  I only know Ah Beng has a fetish to play with the monkeys from the jungle.


10 Responses to “What did Ah Beng say to Ah Lian?”

  1. yellowChimpanzee Says:

    Management Response / Clarification:

    1. The brown shoes were suede and that was like 1 over year go. I R now wearing BLACK LEATHER BALLY shoes. (2nd hand shoes, but still BALLY ok!)

    2. Say only Edamame, but she ordered sizzling oysters, wagyu beef rolls, etc etc. WAH AH LIAN CAN EAT SO MUCH AH!

    3. I R going to Krabi to relax and escape the shit that is DTT nowadays. Beer + Beach = Best. Too bad no hot chicks in the group only…

    4. Pffft, i always walk girls to their cars at night, especially if she’s alone. Only you never had the “fook” to experience.

    5. Eh, i upped the offer to AUD3000! Since you claim to know what kind of fetish i like, we SURE PASS LA the immigration officers’ questions! But first, you must educate me on your fetishes. (psst, further discussion on email)

  2. Kevin Says:

    Ah Lian, take the money!

    After you’re “married” for a few years, take 50% of his assets during the divorce 😉

  3. yellowChimpanzee Says:

    Good plan, except that 50% of nothing is still nothing.

  4. siaoyue Says:

    kevin: the only asset i can take from ah beng is his vroom vroom ah beng car and cut it into half…since it’s painted half black and white, I only want the white bits ok!

    yellowchimp: its not Wagyu beef…its normal pan fried beef wor!!!!!! and I did not eat the whole bowl of UNAGI ok!

  5. Cheshire Cat Says:

    Firstly…i dunno you ah Beng…but i wear brown shoes too…Bally ones…deer skin too (guess where Bambi’s mum ended up)…and they are DA BOMB baby…

    Oh…i also have an Aussie citizenship for sale. I will sell mine for AUD2999 just to make sure i get the sale…but i have no money to split in a divorce, and my client will have to find out my fetishes the good old fashioned way…hahaha…


  6. siaoyue Says:

    cheshire: if u sell ur Aussie citizenship to Ah Beng, then both of you have to indulge in some brokeback activities also…:) r u game for that just for the mere AUD2999

  7. Cheshire Cat Says:

    Implied condition is that my client has to be female…coz as i know it same gender marriage is still not legal in Australia…yet…


  8. Kevin Says:

    There is legislation that says marriage is between male and female. So no, it is not possible for same-sex couples to marry. However, Australia does recognise civil unions between same-sex couples, and I believe may also recognised same-sex marriages from other countries (?). This last point is reflected in the immigration policies, which does not state that your partner is of the opposite gender.

  9. Cheshire Cat Says:

    Sorry Kev. No amount of justification will get my to re-consider my strict guidelines regarding the gender of my clientele. Please don’t take it personal though…hahaha…


  10. siaoyue Says:

    kev & cheshire: we’re going a bit too far on this fake marriage thing right!!!!!! ha ha ha ..BTW remember i said you guys should know each other before? both came out from the same high school in melbourne!

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